Letter to a radio D. J.
Dear Sir,
I would like you to play a song for me, this song brings back
happy memories for me and it seems to sum up my life, so this is my story.
When I was a little boy at primary school I was happy, but every
evening I would come home and find my mum and dad were out at the pub again
getting drunk. They didn’t trust me with a key so I had to sit on the doorstep
and wait till they got home. That doorstep was very cold, especially in winter,
and that’s when my problems began because I got piles from sitting there night
after night. This made me walk funny and the kids at school would make fun of
me and call me names so I started bunking off. Every night Mum and dad would
come home, sometimes as late as 11 at night, and then they would fight between
themselves. I tried to stop them, because I loved them, but if I got in the way
I would get a boot up the arse, that didn’t do much good for my piles, which
got worse. I’m sure Mum and dad hated me, they would send me out shopping and
then move house, but I always found them. Eventually mum and dad could cope no
more and the social services took me away and put me in a home. I had been
separated from the only people I loved. My piles got worse, they were so big
and painful that every time I went to the toilet, shit would stick to them and
I couldn’t wipe my arse anymore because it hurt so much. I tried to make
friends in the home and I loved the other boys like brothers but the other boys
didn’t want to know me because they said I stunk like a shithole, I suppose
they were right but I had got so used to the smell that I didn’t notice, Although
thinking back I can remember some people used to cross the road holding their
nose, and sometimes even threw up in front of me, but I could never figure out
why. I was so unhappy at the home, I decide to run away and join a travelling
circus. They gave me a job as a freak in a sideshow because by now my piles
were so large it looked like I had a baby hippo down my pants and the smell was
awful. When I was not performing, my other job was to look after the elephants.
I loved those elephants as if they were my own and I even slept in their tent
because nobody would share their caravan with me. I thought the elephants loved
me but one night they obviously could stand the smell no longer and while I was
asleep they ripped down the tent and ran away. The circus owner managed to get
them back but I could not share their tent anymore. Once again I had been
spurned because of my disability. Then a new sideshow joined the circus, She
was a bearded lady. When I say she was bearded I mean she was covered in hair
from top to bottom and looked like a gorilla, and because of her flat nose she
had no sense of smell and was almost blind. She and I hit it off instantly and
soon we were a couple. At last I had found someone to love me and I was really
happy. We left the circus and set-up home together. Then one day she went into
hospital to have an operation to fix her nose and eyes. It was the worst day of
my life, she came home, threw up in the lounge and then said “Geez man, it
stinks awful in here you fat-arsed freak. You disgust me, now get out of my
life forever!” before throwing up again. I didn’t argue, what was the point, I
knew she was right; I was repulsive, so I left. My piles are now so large and
painful that I can only stand up, I cannot sit or go to bed and I don’t sleep
very well. I’m so unhappy, so please cheer me up with a tune from when my
girlfriend and I were together, the song is by a band called JAMES and it’s
called “sit-down”