Dear Sir,
I
am Italiano man who go to Great Britain fora me ‘olidays, but I ‘ava da big complain,
‘coz you peoples is not very nice to me. When I get there I go to my ‘otel and
up ina da room I see there are no shits fora de bed so I ringa da room service
and say “ I needa da shit” and the man he say “if you needa da shit go to de
toilet” “you no understanda me” I say “ I wanna shit ona de bed!” then he say “
You betta not shit ona de bed, you dirty sonna mi bitch!” and he hangupa da
phone. Nexta day I go down for a mi breakfast anda when I sit ata mi table I
see no fock. Is a knife, but no fock, so I calla da waitress an’ I say “
waitress, I wanna fock” so she say “Hey everyone wanna fock with me, but I not
gonna” so I tells her “You no understanda me, I only wanna fock ona da table”
thena she starts shoutin’ “look I donna care where you wanna fock, you not
gonna fock me, you dirty sonna mi bitch!” an she slappa mi face, so I goes out
for a de breakfast. When I gets to de café I like a cuppa da tea ana some
toast. So de lady, she aska me how mucha toast I wanna, “ I like a piss” I
tells her, so she say “if you wanna piss you go to de toilet” so I say “You no
understanda me, I wanna de piss ona de plate” and then she getsa angry and
shouts “You betta not piss ona de plate, you dirty sonna mi bitch!” and she
throwsa me outta de place. I goes back to mi ‘otel and says to de man ata de
desk “I’ve ‘ad enough ofa you peoples being nasty witha me. I wanna checkout”
so he say “oki- doki, you’se gonna checkout and peace on you” so I says, “Piss
on you too” and I come home.