A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant
with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.
Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class
practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his
wife was and his brother replied, ”Don’t worry, everybody is fine and you have
a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the
birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I
named them for you.” The husband was thinking to himself, “Oh no, what has he
done now?” and said with trepidation, “Well
what did you name them?” The brother
replied, “I named the little girl Denise.” The husband, relieved, said, “That’s
a very pretty name! What did you come up with for my son?” The brother replied,
“Denephew.”
A poor farmer buys a horse on hire
purchase, but after a week he takes it back to the dealer to complain, “ he
does his work well enough” he says “ but he wont lift his head up and I think
there must be something wrong with him” “Oh, don’t worry about that” Replies
the dealer “That’s just his pride – he will when he’s paid for”
“I like your new dog” says one man to his
friend “Is he clever?” “Clever?” replies his friend “I’l tell you how clever he
is, when I ask him “Are you coming for a walk or aren’t you?” he either comes
or he doesn’t!”
All the animals in the jungle decided to
form themselves into football teams and play a knockout competition. Over a
period of several months dozens and dozens of teams played against each other,
until the great day arrived for the final match to decide the champion team. It
was a fast and furious match with thousands of animals from miles around
cheering and shouting with excitement.
The score was six all with only five minutes left to play when Alexander the ant made a dash down the middle with the ball, it looked as though he was just about to score when elias the elephant, on the defending side,sqashed Alexander as flat as a pancake. The referee, claud the camel, blew his whistle and came running over.”You’ve killed him!” he said to the elephant “that means a penalty, and ill have to send you off.” “but I didn’t mean to kill him,” criedthedistraught Elias “I only meant to trip him!”